Finally, I am Satisfied

I have found myself many times making fun of the drug addict or the alcoholic for looking for satisfaction in the pill or the bottle. I have known for many years that it cannot be found in these things. For many years I searched for satisfaction in these things. Like Solomon who held nothing back for his pleasures I too held nothing back I indulged myself on the bottle like their was no tomorrow. I dove into the white powders of cocaine. All of these things I realized never brought me true satisfaction. My prayer so many years ago was, “thank you Lord for saving me from these drugs that have left me empty” Oh how thankful I am to be so wise now to know that these things leave me empty. And so I look down on the guy strung out on these things who looks for his satisfaction in something I know will leave me empty.

Yet as I laugh in my smug little Christian World the heavens cry out to me. They are seeking to get my attention. The creator of the Unverse shouts clearly to me. “You have judged your brother for getting his fix on a pill but you have forsaken me to get your fix on your family, your minstry, you activities, your—-”And we can go on. Yes Lord I have sinned. I am no different than the one strung out on drugs. Yes my sin looks nicer to society but to you it is still the same. I have gone down that same road. Forgive me Lord for trying to find my satisfaction in my family, in my ministry, in my health, in my friendships. Lord I have looked away from you. I have carried your name as if somehow I could bring satisfaction by just having you a part of my life. I have sinned against you. I am desperate for you. No longer do I want to look for anything to satisfy my soul but you.

Lord I love you because you never give up on me. You look through my thoughts and actions hoping that one day I will finally give all to you. Today Lord let this be the day. Let this be the day that I find satisfaction only in You. Life itself holds nothing for me without you. I love you Lord! I love you! Thank you for satisfaction