A Pastor’s Prayer Journey
Two Preachers Sharing Prayers & ScriptureArchive for Shepherding
Leaving the Church
Friends,
Life can be discouraging at times. Who hasn’t discovered that to be true? I take a minute to peruse the headlines at a few of my favorite websites and discover that there isn’t much happiness being spread around the world. Some bloggers are very fond of ripping and destroying everything that is against theirparticular version of Christianity. Others go out of their way to do nothing but tear to shreds in mockery and sarcasm those who are not “Evangelical Reformed 5 Point Calvinists.” (I have noticed that Calvinists tend to be very arrogant at times. Not all of them, but many of them, especially in the blogosphere.) Sadly, it is these ER5PC blogs that I visit the most because I do appreciate their high view of Scripture even if I deplore their very low view of God’s Sovereignty. This is just one thing that is stuck in my craw this morning.
I’m not innocent. I’ve done it too. I was convicted yesterday morning while I spoke about God’s grace in my sermon. All of the sudden the Spirit convicted me saying, “Look how you have treated the atheists and Darwinists who have visited your blog.” I realized instantly that I was no better than those Christian bloggers who spend all their blogging time defending their superior version of faith against the likes of those who hold an inferior position. As if any of us are saved because of our opinions about Scripture! Isn’t that just the point of grace? I see very little grace coming from some people and I realize that I don’t want to be one of them. I need to respond to people with grace because it is the right way to behave, it is the only way to show that I am saved by grace, and it is the response that Jesus commanded me to offer.
Grace. Sometimes, in moments of selfishness, I wonder what the world would be like if grace did not exist. Doesn’t grace rather complicate things?
The congregation I serve recently passed the 2008 budget. Included in the budget was a line: $1200, Minister’s Education. Now, to be sure, $1200 will pay for about 1 class per year where I am going to school. It will not cover gas expenses, books, room, or food. And besides that $1200, I did not get even a cost of living raise despite the fact that the offerings have increased this year by 5-6%. Don’t misunderstand me: I’m not complaining. I don’t preach in order to make money. That’s not the point. The point is, a husband and a wife decided that was too much: they have left the church over this issue. Well, it’s not even an issue. They are evidently the two who voted against the budget, and they have decided not to return.
What they have essentially said is this: We don’t believe the church should be that generous with the preacher. What is my response supposed to be to this? Grace. Isn’t there some room in this for a little ‘righteous indignation’, a little ‘holy anger’, a little ‘you people are so unbelievably ignorant’, or even a little ‘tossing of the temple tables’? Sadly, and yet in a liberating sort of way, no, there isn’t. Instead, the best response I can have right now is silence, the letting go.
Life can be discouraging at times. These are the difficulties we are faced with as preachers in churches. It is, to be sure, a paltry thing. I’m sharing this, not because I want sympathy, but because I want to put a face on the nature of grace–at least the grace that I am learning about right now. This is, after all, a prayer journey. My prayer today is that I will learn not to be so petty and that someday, when I’m an old preacher put out to pastor and a young preacher’s family comes along in the church I worship with, I pray now that God will help me to be gracious to him and his family. I’m praying now that God will change me in such a way now so that then I will not be like some of the people I see in the church today who have no concept whatsoever of grace.
Father,
Help me to be a man of grace. Lord, help me to be a man who understands the nature of his salvation. Help me Lord to be a man who forgives and forgets others as easily as you forgave me. I need to be gracious Lord so that I will not, in any way, fail to demonstrate to others what you have done for me. I confess Lord my own arrogance and sin and my own unforgiving attitude. I confess my ineptitude and shallowness. I ask Lord for your mercy to be evident in me so that in turn it might be evident to all. Soli Deo Gloria!
jerry
Send the Light; Scatter the Darkness
Friends,
It’s been a long day. It is still raining and snowing here in Ohio. It is still cold and wet.
I spent the day fasting. I broke it at around 6 PM this evening. I needed some clarity and I wanted to spend a day trusting in the Lord to strengthen me. The burdens were loaded on early. I carried them only in the strength of the Lord.
A friend told me about a young man of 10 years old that has had thoughts of suicide.
Another friend told me about a young man who was recently found to be in possession of illegal drugs.
Both conversations were accompanied by tears. It is a dark world all around us.
I contrast this with a post I made at Life Under the Blue Sky about another ‘Nationwide Church Growth Campaign‘ the brochure of which was filled with smiling people who had all the answers to all the problems in one handy read-in-thirty-days-book. If only life were so simple! Unfortunately, life is not as black and white Monday-Saturday as it is in Sunday mornings from behind a pulpit. If only life were really about growing a big church where everyone is happy.
But this is not reality now, is it? There are hurting people, carrying real burdens. We come along side them and pray in Jesus’ Name for strength, comfort, healing, and grace. We come along side and help them carry their burdens.
The kids at school were particularly wound-up today. Amidst the noise I tried to pray and lift up these wounded souls, these wounded people.
Lord, I pray for these children; their parents. I pray Lord in Jesus’ Name that you scatter the darkness. I pray a hedge of protection around them. I pray You will protect them from the Enemy who prowls about like a lion waiting to pounce on a victim.
I pray for them Father that you shine the light of truth in their hearts. I pray you give them a Spirit of wisdom and revelation. I pray Lord that you will heal their brokenness. Lord here is our reality. This is what we have done with the freedom you have given us and now our children suffer, hurt, and are taken captive.
Lord in Jesus’ Name, I lift these dear ones to you and ask that you protect them from the devil’s schemes. There are others Lord. Others I don’t know who are hurting. There are other children who are being tricked by the Enemy. Lord, protect them. Jesus didn’t pray to take us out of this world, but He did pray that you would protect us from the evil one. I repeat that prayer: Protect these ones from the evil one.
Shine light. Lord, we cast our burdens on you because you care for us.
We pray in Jesus’ Name, in the Power of the Spirit, to our Holy Father in Heaven,
Amen. Amen.
Rainy Day Shepherding #12 & 35
Friends,
“Pastors are assigned by the church to care for congregations, not exploit them, to gently cultivate parishes that are plantings for the Lord, not brashly develop religious shopping malls.”–Eugene Peterson, Under the Unpredictable Plant, 135
Dave wrote from Indiana today. I am writing from Ohio. It’s raining in Ohio. It’s been raining all day. I had an early appointment with a friend and then I went to the school. In between the two, I went to a nursing home and visited with ‘Betty.’ I learned, for the first time, that she enjoys playing Scrabble. I promised that the next time I go visit her I am taking a Scrabble board and we are going to play a game. She promised not to beat me too badly.
After school, where I spent two and a half hours monitoring Junior High aged children, I went to another nursing home and visited Louise. The most alive thing in the nursing home was the giant aquarium full of fish. Four beds to a room, and a ‘client’ on each bed. Oxygen. Sleep. I walked by one lady who was pushing a walker, “Good afternoon,” I said. Silence. Not much noise in a nursing home. Another woman in Louise’s room was filling out a chair, sleeping hard, and sucking down a constant stream of oxygen. Another woman in the lobby was smiling and wrapped in a blanket.
It’s the hardest part of my job. I visited with Louise. She was taking a nap so I had one of the nurses awaken her. She won’t remember that I visited. I’m not even certain she knew who I was–although, she did ask me six or seven times how my family was. She is sweet and I enjoyed the 24 minutes that I spent with her.
What is amazing is that Louise had more to say to me than I did to her. She asked me more questions about my family than I could ask her about hers (she has none). She smiled as I uncomfortably made small talk, and listened intently as I read from Scripture, and bowed quietly as I prayed; she seemed reluctant to let me leave.
I wish I hadn’t. In her own blessed way, Louise ministered to me yesterday. Yesterday, in a way, she was the Shepherd and I was the sheep.
It rained and rained and rained yesterday. I have a suspicion that the rain that falls in December is somehow beneficial to crops, plants, flowers, and trees that will grow in May.
jerry
