A Pastor’s Prayer Journey

Two Preachers Sharing Prayers & Scripture

Archive for December 11, 2007

Confessions of an abuser

We are all aware of the abuses that we commit to the body. Some of us have been guilty of immoral sexual activity. Others have abused our bodies with drugs and alcohol. Others have been addicted to nicotine. Certainly most of us would see why God would want us to refrain from such activity. It is harmful to his temple. It abuses the body He has given us to glorify Him. Now I have committed many of these atrocities that I have mentioned. Yet maybe there is an abuse which does not surpass these abuses but certainly is every bit the equal.

What would you say to an abuse that kills thousands each year, maybe even millions. Would an activity that shortens the life span of believers be something we should take notice of. What about an activity that many in the church have made their god. Should we ignore this abuse? Should we continue to live in such a way that we make excuses for a behavior that is destructive and cost society billions? What is this great crime against humanity that the church has been silent about?

This sin is something I have struggled with for years and many of you struggle with as well. The sin in a nutshell may be called gluttony but it can probably fit under other categories as well.  Many of us are guilty of abusing the very temple’s God has created for us. We live in a society in which we put many harmful things in our body. Things which will hurt the very temples God has created for His glory. For years I ate what I wanted and how I wanted. Many of you are like this as well. We devoured and devoured and we continued to devour. We would mask our sins by calling it a fellowship meal. We would excuse our behavior believing that all things are permissible. We wrongly accused the the drunk of his sins of not being able to control the substances he put in his body and yet we could not control the food that came into our own bodies.

I share not as one who has mastered this but as one who knows that I have not treated God’s temple with the respect that it deserves. I am guilty of eating more than I need. I am guilty of eating things that have no value to God’s temple. I am guilty of bringing others along in my wicked lifestyle. Some would ask: “is wicked too strong of a word? ” Maybe but what else can I call something that has been my god for so long. I pray that my confessions may help others who are abusing their temples as well.

“Lord, forgive me for not bringing all areas of my life under your control. Lord forgive me for making food my God and not you. Father forgive me for eating things which are addictive, which do not help my body, which are loaded with known poisons. Lord God forgive me for trying to lose weight so that I might look good. Forgive me for going on diets because I wanted to glorify my health rather than glorify the God who created my health. Lord you simply want me to please you with all areas of my life. Convict me in doing what is right.  Help me Lord to have the power to change and the grace and mercy to be patient with myself and others. Lord I love you.”

Finally, I am Satisfied

I have found myself many times making fun of the drug addict or the alcoholic for looking for satisfaction in the pill or the bottle. I have known for many years that it cannot be found in these things. For many years I searched for satisfaction in these things. Like Solomon who held nothing back for his pleasures I too held nothing back I indulged myself on the bottle like their was no tomorrow. I dove into the white powders of cocaine. All of these things I realized never brought me true satisfaction. My prayer so many years ago was, “thank you Lord for saving me from these drugs that have left me empty” Oh how thankful I am to be so wise now to know that these things leave me empty. And so I look down on the guy strung out on these things who looks for his satisfaction in something I know will leave me empty.

Yet as I laugh in my smug little Christian World the heavens cry out to me. They are seeking to get my attention. The creator of the Unverse shouts clearly to me. “You have judged your brother for getting his fix on a pill but you have forsaken me to get your fix on your family, your minstry, you activities, your—-”And we can go on. Yes Lord I have sinned. I am no different than the one strung out on drugs. Yes my sin looks nicer to society but to you it is still the same. I have gone down that same road. Forgive me Lord for trying to find my satisfaction in my family, in my ministry, in my health, in my friendships. Lord I have looked away from you. I have carried your name as if somehow I could bring satisfaction by just having you a part of my life. I have sinned against you. I am desperate for you. No longer do I want to look for anything to satisfy my soul but you.

Lord I love you because you never give up on me. You look through my thoughts and actions hoping that one day I will finally give all to you. Today Lord let this be the day. Let this be the day that I find satisfaction only in You. Life itself holds nothing for me without you. I love you Lord! I love you! Thank you for satisfaction